We sit mesmerized as the sharks swim by.
“Why don’t those sharks eat those fish?” my grandson asks.
Good point.
With little effort one of those zebra sharks could take a lunge and suck in a seahorse or a garden eel or a clownfish or any of the other 300 fish minding their own business as they circle the saltwater tank.
I’ve got no answer for Luke. But his brother does.
“They aren’t hungry,” Jesse says. “They’ve been fed.”
Later I checked, and Jesse was right. It’s called target-feeding. Zookeepers feed aquarium sharks high quality chunks of fish and squid and vitamins. Everything sharks need to feel healthy and strong. And non-consummatory.
Lucky for the garden eel.
The keepers have settled the bully of the sea.
Sitting between my grandsons, I stare with them into the 88,000-gallon saltwater tank. But my mind is at the middle school where I taught. And the prison. In both places, I found bullies in my classrooms, sharks who circled to find the vulnerable and turn them to prey.
I’ve seen bullies sent to in-school suspension and expelled and thrown into solitary confinement. But punitive behaviors alone rarely stop bullying. Punished sharks come back hungrier than before. And once again, they circle and lunge and suck in prey.
What sharks need is keepers who recognize unmet hunger on the other side of gnashing teeth. And do something about it. Bullies need keepers who target feed, who throw in a smile, a touch on the shoulder, a request for help. They need chunks of focused attention and stories that develop empathy. They need keepers who look for something good and say it, aloud and in front of others, and who help them channel power, not squelch it.
This kindness does not allow bad behavior. But it seeks to find dignity in each person and offers a way back into the group when someone chooses to do better. It seeks for ways to transform bullying into belonging.
Target feeding, this strategy of zookeepers can help in the classroom. And beyond.
“Come on, Grandma.”
It’s Jesse.
There’s more to the zoo than sharks.
Apple to Apple 